I know that I say this a lot, but you set the standard for how people treat you. I know. I know.
But do you really understand the weight of that statement?
Is that something that you are actually listening to and applying to your life? Or is it just an affirmation that makes you feel good after you read my blog but you quickly forget about it soon after?
Let me sip some tea on my own self for this one!
Even with me knowing full well that I set the standard for how people treat me, I still have those moments where I don’t value myself fully, in turn giving others the chance to devalue me. It’s in that moment that I realize the issue isn’t with them; it’s with me.
It’s kind of like this – if I want to find out my weight, I have to get on a scale to find out, right? If there are two scales in front of me, I can only step on one at a time to gauge my weight. If someone is standing directly next to me on a scale I cannot find my weight on their scale. That’s THEIR scale. That’s THEIR weight. MY scale tells me MY weight. MY scale tells me MY worth. MY opinion of MYSELF determines MY value. You will NEVER be able to tell YOUR weight by watching someone else’s scale, just like they will NEVER be able to tell you YOUR worth from THEIR scale.
Beloved, no one on this earth will ever be able to determine your value. You do that. You determine your worth, which in turn sets the standard for how people treat you.
I guess after years of being deemed worth less by other races, our parents, our siblings, other women/men and our spouses… we have a bad habit of not valuing ourselves. Of hating ourselves. Of thinking we are worth less. So we try to add to our value with outside changes and material things, or accolades and monetary success… instead of realizing that our worthiness comes from within.
So here’s the point of this blog. It happened around the time I did my last series. For part one, I made the book .99 cents. Less than a dollar. A fifty thousand word book. Less than a dollar. Really, it was less than .50 cents because of the way Amazon splits royalties, but that’s a whole other topic for another day. I basically set myself up to receive .35 cents per purchase of this book that I’d poured my heart and soul into.
.35 cents, Beloved.
Yea, I placed it on Kindle Unlimited, which allows me to get paid per page read, but that per page read amount is less than a penny!
Why did I do this? Because that’s the standard that was set before I even released my first series almost two years ago.
( This isn’t a complaining post about money so hang in there with me 🙂 )
That’s what was done before me and that’s what readers expect, so that’s what I did. It wasn’t until one of my readers inboxed me and straight up asked me what the heck my book was doing being priced so cheap that I realized I was devaluing my work. It took someone on the outside looking in to remind me that I set the standard not just for how people treat me, but for how people value my work as well.
Sure, you fear rejection when you step away from the norm, but so what? As long as you conform you’re making that treatment okay and acceptable. My books are worth far more than .35 cents. Than .99 cents. And until I set the standard and price them the way they deserved to be priced they will CONTINUE TO LOSE VALUE.
Just like you, Beloved.
People who love themselves set the standard for how people treat them. They know their worth and charge people accordingly to be in their lives. I’ve said it in a book before; there is a price and cost for everything. The cost is what you pay to sell something or be with someone. The price is what someone pays for what you’re offering.
In all things, business, family, relationships, etc. make sure that you don’t lower your value by giving yourself, your love, your talent away freely or cheaper than your worth. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. If they don’t want to follow the standard that you’ve set and give you what you’re worth… leave.
People who love themselves know that they aren’t worthless. They aren’t worth less. They know that they determine their value internally and don’t allow the misconceptions of the world to tell them otherwise.
Do you set the standard, Beloved? Or are you allowing someone else’s scale to determine your worth?
Until next time,