Can I let you in on something I learned? Sometimes, when we seek constant connection with others and try our hardest to remain in committed relationships it’s because we aren’t satisfied with ourselves. We aren’t comfortable with ourselves. We are ashamed of our flaws, weaknesses and failures so much so that we try to drown them and our thoughts out by consistently connecting with others.
Here’s the secret – in order for us to have healthy relationships with others we must have a healthy relationship with ourselves. An even deeper secret – when we don’t love ourselves the way we should, if we somehow attract a good person who wants to love us, we will unintentionally sabotage that relationship and push them away. Why? Because it will be hard for us to respect someone who loves us when we don’t love ourselves.
It will be hard for us to take that person’s feelings as true and sincere. We will end up causing them pain if they try to stick around long enough or they’ll leave us and make us feel even less worthy of love.
Crazy, right? I know. So how do we accept, appreciate and return love from friends and romantic partners? By first loving ourselves. Spend time with yourself. Get comfortable with yourself. Be at peace with your thoughts and those things that make you uniquely you.
Here’s another piece of free game – when it comes down to unconditional love… all those flaws and weaknesses that you think make you unworthy of love DON’T MATTER. Unconditional love is a choice, and it doesn’t take those flaws into account. Unconditional love… loves you just as you are. And isn’t that what we all want? Someone to love us unconditionally?
The first step to receiving that is loving yourself unconditionally.
Give it a try.
Until next time,
P.S. Share this with someone that you believe it will help 🙂