27 candles

27 candles

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 27. Closer to 30 than 20. Wow.

I always had this plan for my life. Well, I guess it wasn’t really a plan because I wasn’t really putting it to work to achieve it, but I had a vision of how I figured my life would pan out.

I thought I would graduate college at 22, be married with at least one child by 25, and be working a fun and profitable job by 28. I’ve always dreamed of being a fulltime writer, but in all honesty, that wasn’t something that I thought would actually happen. Like, I grew up on paperbacks. I would spend hours at the library reading just to check out another twenty books. I would spend hours at the mall in the bookstore reading the books I couldn’t afford to buy… just to come back that weekend after getting my allowance.

When I dreamed of becoming a fulltime writer, I saw myself writing under this big publisher, with paperbacks in stores and libraries, hitting the New York Times bestseller list. I saw myself going on book tours and having signings and meetings with book clubs.

That’s what it was about to me.

Then, I learned of the eBook world and that dream was history lol.

So, the day before my 27th birthday I find myself waking up in quite a humorous mood. I took inventory of where I thought I’d be at this point. I dropped out of college – no degree. I’m probably the most awkward girl in life who has no social life – no husband. And children honestly scare me a little. Well, only the really little ones. And the ones who can’t talk and tell you what they need – no children.

What’s crazy is the thing I didn’t think would happen is what actually happened! The thing that I thought was unrealistic or not a possibility for me is what I have. My fulltime writing career. Yes, I wanted this, but… I NEVER thought I’d actually make it to this point.

I never thought I’d be writing fulltime. Getting paid to do what I love. Touching the lives of my readers with my words. Using my platform to not only entertain but inspire. Nope. Can’t believe it.

But what I noticed was that it was that impossible dream that I worked towards and put effort into. Can’t get that degree if you don’t reenroll. How you gon have a husband if you don’t get out and date, girl? And uh… you know what it takes to make a baby. I ain’t been doing none of that! Pahahaha. But what I have been doing is writing.

A lot.

And believing in my writing.

And putting my writing out for the world to see.

I guess I’m learning the day before my birthday that nothing is impossible as long as you believe and work for it. I may not have the life I saw myself having when I was 18, but the life that I do have… it’s pretty freaking dope.

What about you?

Are you living the life you want or just going through the motions accepting what’s offered to you? Are you working towards your dreams and desires or just settling? Are you really living… or just existing?

I’ll get those things. The degree. The husband. The children.

I’ll work towards those things just like I worked towards my dream.

But until I get them… my God… I’m going to wander.

27 cities in 27 months sounds like a great place to start.

 

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A mix of Patrick Star and Erykah Badu (For the creatives and those who read and view what we create)

A mix of Patrick Star and Erykah Badu (For the creatives and those who read and view what we create)

“It’s too fast paced.”

“It was boring.”

“All of her books are the same.”

“This wasn’t like B. Love. It was different. I don’t like this for her.”

“It was great, but way too short.”

“It wasn’t deep enough like her other stuff.”

“Not long enough.”

“Not like her other stuff.”

“Didn’t like this from her.”

“Not like her other stuff.”

“Didn’t like this from her.”

“Not like her other stuff.”

“Didn’t like this from her.”

…but is that so bad?

Is it a crime to be different? To stand out? I pride myself in being unique and different. Must I ALWAYS write the same things the same way every time????

Okay, breathe.

Let’s start this conversation over.

Title –

I couldn’t decide if I wanted to make the title, “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma,” from Patrick on SpongeBob – “I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my s*,” like Erykah Badu – “Random ramblings” – or “For the creatives.”

Still now, I’m not sure what the title is going to be. I guess we’ll find out at the same time lol.

Reason for the blog –

My next novel will be the biggest one I’ve written. The goal is 160K. I felt like in order for me to really give it my all that it’s imperative for me to remove myself from social media. My blog will be my way of remaining connected with MY world. MY readers.

So, I’m going to be blogging a lot more consistently through this process. Not sure how long I’ll be writing. Not sure how consistently I’ll be blogging. But both will be done. And both are gonna blow your mind! Too corny? Okay, let me refocus.

This blog is going to serve as my platform to dump all that I’m feeling out before I start my writing. If you can’t tell from the quotes / reviews at the top of this blog, this dump is for the creatives. For the creatives and authors who step out of the box. For the creatives who like to go against the grain. For the creatives who get chewed up if they do what is expected and if they do something different.

My advice? (To you and to me.)

You can’t please everyone!

There will ALWAYS be someone who has SOMETHING to say! They may say it to you, to someone else, or to themselves (which we want but hardly ever happens lol), but there will always be someone who won’t feel it. Who won’t get it. Who won’t vibe with it. Sometimes they’ll have genuine reasons. Sometimes it will be just a personal preference. Sometimes it will be just freaking because.

You can’t get caught up in that, though.

I know I know, your inner Badu want’s to come out and be like, but I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my s*. Who wants their work to be judged by the world? Well, creative, apparently you do because you put it out into the world. Oh? You didn’t want it to be judged negatively? You just wanted the love, support, adoration, and positive feedback?

Sorry, creative. That’s not how it works. You have to take the good with the bad. The beautiful with the ugly. The praise with the critiques. The beautiful with the downright ugly.

What’s the trick to handling it all?

To not be lifted high and made proud by the good, nor to be brought down low by the bad.

Selah.

Reread that last line, creative. I am.

Creative expression of any kind is personal. It comes from experience, emotions, pain, love, devotion. It’s your heart and soul. You pour your all into it, right? You get attached to it, and because it’s your heart and soul and you take it personally you feel the need to protect your craft. Your art. Your music. Your books. Your whatever.

You have the RIGHT to be sensitive about your s*.

But…

The moment you put yourself out there in front of the world you know what you did? You stripped yourself of your armor. You stripped yourself of your protection. You stripped yourself of your clothing. You opened yourself up in the most naked and vulnerable way. You puffed your chest out, pulled your rib cage open, pointed neon lighted signs at your heart that read, “Insert all of YOUR opinions about MY heart and passion and creativity and work HERE. Right HERE. In my HEART. In the CORE OF MY BEING.”

That’s what every creative does when they share their work with the world.

So, yes, I understand the sensitivity. I understand the hurt and pain and anger that comes when your work isn’t understood, appreciated, or accepted, but guess what?

It comes with the territory my creative friend.

Just because you’re sharing YOUR vision with the world doesn’t mean they will see it as you do. In all honesty, what good would that really be? Go with me here, I’m trying to make a point lol.

What point?!?

The point is…

As a creative, WE must create with all of our hearts and souls, but share it with the world in a detached sense.

As a creative, WE must be turtles.

Yea, turtles.

Soft and mushy on the inside but hard on the outside. Hard with thick skin. Thick skin that can withstand the criticisms of the world. No matter how right, wrong, unnecessary, or hurtful they may be.

Be turtles, creatives. Be able to accept the good and the bad reviews, critiques, and opinions of the world that you’ve nakedly exposed yourself to in all of your vulnerability.

To our viewers… to the people we share ourselves with…

Yes, we know that we’re opening ourselves up to you. We know that the moment we presented our craft to you that we gave you permission to let us know how you feel about our hearts, but can you do so in a nice and respectful way? You don’t have to be mean, hurtful, harsh, and insensitive. You don’t have to bash us because you didn’t agree with our vision. It’s ours. And you have yours. It’s great when they connect. Understandable when they don’t. I’m open. We’re open. Can you be open too?

Can you remember that this isn’t a song, or book, or piece of art, or talent, or gift, or ability that was created and given to you by an emotionless robot? No. We are humans. We feel. We feel very deeply about that thing you’re critiquing. Can you remember that?

Okay, I guess I’m done dumping today.

Catch me here again later?

B.

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Weak: An Irresistible Love – Now available!

Weak: An Irresistible Love – Now available!

Briella Michaels had one goal for 2017–to fall in love and get married. Under the guidance of her love and relationship guru, Briella devotes herself to endless dates in hopes of finding the man for her.
Priest Bradford had one goal for 2017–to get over his ex-fiancée and make sure that he never falls for another woman again. Ever. Like… in life. Reaching his breaking point with love, Priest devotes himself to his business and building an empire.
As a home stager and interior designer, Briella is always on the hunt for new opportunities to show her talent and creativity. When she hears about Bradford Realty looking to hire a home stager she’s determined to land the gig. What she doesn’t plan on is falling in love with the owner–Priest.
Priest has everything on Briella’s husband list. There’s just one problem; he doesn’t want to be her husband or anyone else’s. As the two venture off into their business relationship, Briella can’t help but desire a personal one while Priest does everything in his power to keep from falling for her.
By the time their contract is up, Priest has to make a decision that has the power to change both of their lives–secure his future with Briella or allow his past to pull them apart.

*Warning, this book contains instalove, or love at first sight, and profanity. If either of those aren’t your personal preference please consider another B. Love novel over this one.*

Now available on Amazon!

Click here!

weak

Coming Wednesday – Weak: An Irresistible Love!

Coming Wednesday – Weak: An Irresistible Love!

4/19/17

Weak: An Irresistible Love

Synopsis…

Briella Michaels had one goal for 2017–to fall in love and get married. Under the guidance of her love and relationship guru, Briella devotes herself to endless dates in hopes of finding the man for her.

Priest Bradford had one goal for 2017–to get over his ex-fiancée and make sure that he never falls for another woman again. Ever. Like… in life. Reaching his breaking point with love, Priest devotes himself to his business and building an empire.

As a home stager and interior designer, Briella is always on the hunt for new opportunities to show her talent and creativity. When she hears about Bradford Realty looking to hire a home stager she’s determined to land the gig. What she doesn’t plan on is falling in love with the owner–Priest.

Priest has everything on Briella’s husband list. There’s just one problem; he doesn’t want to be her husband or anyone else’s. As the two venture off into their business relationship, Briella can’t help but desire a personal one while Priest does everything in his power to keep from falling for her.

By the time their contract is up, Priest has to make a decision that has the power to change both of their lives–secure his future with Briella or allow his past to pull them apart.

Hope you’re ready for a crazy ride!

weak

New Release! – In haven!!

New Release! – In haven!!

Raleigh Simone couldn’t tell you anything about love and family. After watching her mother suffer from the abuse of her father for years, Raleigh decided love would never be worth the possibility of pain.

Haven Jackson didn’t have a normal childhood growing up. He didn’t experience the love and nurture that his friends received from their mothers, or the guidance and teachings they gained from their fathers. It was because of his lack of a loving family that Haven made finding a wife to love his priority.

There’s just one problem–the woman he chose to love doesn’t want to have anything to do with it or him.

The second Raleigh laid eyes on Haven she knew he would be trouble. He stirred up feelings within her that no other man ever had. Between her pushing him and his offer to love her away, and him pulling for her to give him and his love a chance… someone is bound to fall.

The question is… which one will it be?

Will Raleigh fall into Haven’s love and find peace in what she’s been running from for years? Or will Haven fall for Raleigh and find himself shattered by her inability to catch him or pick him up?

Now available on Amazon!!

Click here!

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