If you look back at all of the relationships you’ve been in, how many of those people did you honestly think you were going to spend the rest of your life with? When I look back on all of my boyfriends, I thought that I was going to marry two of them. Two. So, that means the rest of the men that I dated and gave myself to were unnecessary. I had absolutely no intentions of marrying them; and I knew when I had sex with them that we weren’t going to get married because even then I knew that I wanted my marriage to be holy, pure, and blessed by God.
There was one other guy that I considered marrying just because he had a few things that I thought I wanted, but there were only two guys that I genuinely saw myself being with for the rest of my life. Every other man was a waste of space. Of time. Of energy. Of mental space. Of love. Of affection. Of my body. Of my soul, because sex does attach you to people, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.
I wasted so much of me on them.
I’ve gotten to the place now where I refuse to give what’s my husband’s within me to another man. I’m saving myself for him. Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well. I’m not interacting with another man on any level of intimacy from this point forward unless he is to be my husband.
I don’t want to continue to experience unnecessary heartache and pain all for the sake of avoiding loneliness because what’s going to end up happening is I’m going to be so damaged by the time I meet my husband that he’s going to have to uproot the wounds from men before him and that’s not fair. I’m not going to put that weight on him. He doesn’t deserve to have to pay for the mistakes I’ve made in the past.
What he will get because of those mistakes, however, is a whole woman, committed to God, who knows what she wants and needs and who she is. A woman who will understand that he needs respect, submission, and appreciation. Right now, my focus is on becoming whole for him.
How can I be whole if I continue to give pieces of myself to other men?
Let that breathe. Then repeat that very question to yourself.
How can you be whole if you continue to give pieces of yourself to other men / women?
If the person you’re with at this very moment in your life is not the one you plan on spending the rest of your life with, are you strong enough and secure enough in yourself to end that relationship? If not, I completely understand. It’s a process. The thought of loneliness is not something that most people can willingly handle and accept.
We’ve allowed misconceptions about love and relationships to make us believe that singleness is a bad thing. It means you’re going to be lonely. It means no one wants you. It means you’re unattractive. It means you aren’t able to get and keep a mate. But all of this is wrong!
Being single means being whole. It means preparing yourself to be who you want to attract. It means doing things that you won’t be able to fully commit yourself to when you’re married. It means you value yourself enough to not offer yourself to people who aren’t capable of understanding how valuable you are. It means you care enough about your future mate to not give away what rightfully belongs to them.
Don’t ruin the person you’re with now because you’re lonely. Don’t allow yourself to be ruined because you’re lonely. Inspect the place you are in right now in your life, and begin to take the small steps necessary to take better care of yourself.