OK… I’ll be the one between us two that is honest… as a woman… I know that I have a tendency to want to, ‘help’ or ‘change’ or ‘better’ a man. Not only am I a nurturer by nature, but I’m an old soul. The kind of soul that attracts troubled souls. It’s a part of me to help men. Period.
Why, just recently I was told, ‘You always meet guys that have issues.’
In the past I thought that was a reflection of me. You know… that whole… you are what you attract thing. Well, that’s not always true. Opposites attract just as easily!
As a woman I understand I have a habit of nurturing. Influencing. Adapting to situations and relationships. I stay in situations longer than I should because I adapt and get used to them. Because I desire to see the best in all men and women that I come in contact with. Because I have the kind of soul that troubled ones cling to.
Yea. I’m that girl.
The one who gets the guy when he’s nothing, helps him become something, and when he has everything we turn into nothing.
I’ve been perfectly OK with my role in the making of great men. I feel like… women should be sending me roses in thanks for giving them the man they’ve been desiring, but I digress *serious side eye*.
At 26, I’m quite frankly tired of this role of… the preparer. I’m tired of helping men become better men for the next woman. I’m tired of wasting time and energy on a man that I KNOW is not the man for me.
That’s a habit we have as women too. Being with a man out of comfort, or history, or just plain old not wanting to be alone and having to start over knowing full well he isn’t the one for us. We risk our hearts and put ourselves in the position to be hurt to be with a man that we have no business being with! We waste time and energy trying to make a relationship work and fit into our life that was never meant to be a piece of our puzzle!
You poke and prode. Squeeze and bend. Try to be what he wants and needs. Try to make him the same for you. FOR NOTHING. Because at the end of the day, you cannot hold on to what doesn’t belong to you. And if that man ain’t the man for you, there’s nothing you can do to keep him tied to you.
Hear me well, woman, the man who is for you will not need to be altered to fit you. He will already be what you want and need. That’s not to say he will be perfect, but he’ll be perfect for you. He will be clear on his desire for you. His commitment to you. He will make you a priority.
Men know what they want.
If he is ‘unsure’ of whether or not he wants to be with you… my love… he doesn’t!
Don’t let that boy waste your time! Don’t YOU waste your time holding on to someone that you don’t belong to! Holding on to him means your hands are full and unable to grab the one that IS for you.
I know it may be hard, especially with Valentine’s day coming up… but this is a reminder for me and a challenge for you…
If you’re in a relationship… I want you to seriously weigh that relationship. Are you getting out what you put in? Is that man just as invested in you as you are in him? Are you his priority? Is he committed to you? Has he made it perfectly clear to you that YOU are what he wants?
If you’re single… before you jump into a relationship… heck, before you even start ‘talking’ to a guy… I want you to seriously take inventory of who he is, what he wants, and what he has to offer YOU. Is he a slot filler until you find your King, or could he really be the one?
We got too much glo up to experience and too much to accomplish to waste time with slot fillers out of comfort and fear of loneliness! We are not settling for situationships this year! If that man cannot bring what you want and need to the table… EAT ALONE!!