Okay, don’t be mad at me! I’m super behind on the self-love Sunday posts. 😦 I told you guys to hold me accountable lol. We both failed lol.
Well, better late than never!!
In part one of Rule and Camryn, Camryn shared a few habits of people who love themselves. I’m going to share that chapter with you. I want you to read the chapter and pick out the habits of self-loving people. Then, I want you to do a self check and see how many of these habits you practice. Don’t overthink it!! All I want you to do is a personal inventory of what you do and don’t do… okay?!?
Next week, we’re going to break these habits down and I’m going to share with you how you can practice these habits on a daily basis.
Power and Elle were back from their honeymoon and Elle convinced Camryn to host a self-love workshop to start off her summer dance camp. She usually held it a month before school started but her trip to Vegas pushed it back. When they returned her first order of business was gathering her girls up the following Monday at her studio.
Camryn waited until Elle finished introducing her before she stood and walked to the center of the room. When she planned for the event she had a full speech prepared but after spending time with Rule her views of love and relationships were changing.
Instead of teaching them to completely throw themselves into their purpose and goals and ignore their need for companionship as she planned on doing she decided to be completely transparent with them.
“You guys…” she started before looking at Elle and shaking her head in reluctance. “I… I had this whole speech planned, right? I had all these ideas and activities… but none of that matters now. Now that I’ve truly began to practice what I preach. How many of you genuinely love yourselves?”
She watched as a few of them raised their hands immediately while others hesitated. Her eyes landed on a young girl whose skin was the same shade as hers. Their hair was the same texture. And her eyes were gray as well.
“Gray eyes… come here.”
Slowly the young lady stood and made her way next to Camryn.
“What’s your name, baby?” Camryn asked as she turned to face her.
“Braille? That’s different. Is there a meaning behind it?”
“Um, my mom named me that because she said the love she and my father share is blind. She’s black and he’s white.”
Camryn’s heart dropped as she took a step back.
“Why did it take you so long to raise your hand, Braille?”
Braille shrugged and wrapped her arms around her stomach. “I… I don’t know.”
“Do you know what it means to love yourself? Do you actively practice self-love?”
Braille shook her head no and lowered her eyes. “I don’t think so. I mean… I love me I’m sure. I don’t know.”
“Okay um… have a seat in the front over here and I’m going to go over seven habits that people who love themselves practice and if you don’t do these things we’re going to talk about how you can implement them in your life, okay?”
Camryn looked at Elle as Braille sat down and Elle clutched her heart in compassion. Grace immediately came to Camryn’s mind. She was still in San Francisco. Her parents had yet to reach out to her and it ate at Elle on a daily basis.
“People who love themselves are aware of themselves. They know what they need. What they want. What they don’t want. They know their goals and their purpose in life. They are focused.
Once they know what they want and need they are focused on those things and doing what it takes to make them happen.
They take care of themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally. They are able to set clear boundaries for their lives and their relationships. They know how to say no to things that aren’t good for them. Relationships that aren’t good for them. They surround themselves with positive people.
They don’t hang around with people who bring negative energy into their lives or hinder them in any way. They forgive themselves when they’ve done wrong. They don’t allow themselves to be led by fear or guilt.”
She inhaled deeply and smiled softly. “All six of these things allow them to live intentionally. They allow them to pursue their purpose. That’s what I was going to emphasize to you guys today… but I think we need to start from the beginning.
So number one to love yourself you must be aware of yourself. You have to know yourself. Number two you have to be focused. Number three you have to take care of yourself. You can’t love others if you don’t properly love yourself, nor can you care for others if you don’t properly care for yourself.
Number four you have to have clear boundaries. Don’t be a sucker. Don’t be a pushover. Don’t let this lil niggas talk you into doing anything that you know you shouldn’t be doing just because they’re some little horn dogs. Don’t let these lil fast tail girls have y’all doing some shi- stuff y’all know is wrong because of peer pressure.
Number five you have to surround yourself with positive people. Number six you have to live fearlessly with no regrets. No fear. And should you fail you have to forgive yourself. Number seven you have to live intentionally.
Now… how many of you do five or more of those things on a daily basis?”
No one raised a hand.
“Okay, how many of you do at least three of those things on a daily basis?”
A few raised their hands. Camryn smiled.
“Okay. I want you all to stand up and grab those notebooks beside Elle. We’re going to chop each of these things down and I’m going to tell you how you can implement each habit into your every day routine. Life is about relationships, ladies. Whether we want to admit it or not we were created to commune with God and then others. We were created to love and have relationships.
First we must work on our relationship with God. Then our relationship with ourselves. Then our relationship with others. Think about a triangle.”
Camryn walked over to the wall and floor length mirror and drew a triangle with lipstick. At the top she wrote God. At the left point she wrote self. At the right point she wrote others.
When the girls were seated again she walked back over to them.
“Most times we don’t take the necessary steps to love ourselves because we worry about being conceited… or we’re just so focused on our relationships with others that it just… doesn’t seem like a factor to us.
But you cannot really love and respect others until you love and respect yourself. Now I’m not talking about this worldly selfish artificial love I’m sure you guys have grown up learning about. I’m talking about unconditional selfless love that’s based on actions not feelings.
Actions are what should lead to feelings. Feelings should never be the foundation for your relationship because feelings change.
I want you all to draw a triangle in the middle of your paper just as I did on the mirror. When everyone is done we’ll take it from there.”
Camryn walked over to Elle and Elle grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the side.
“Grace,” she mumbled as tears filled her eyes.
“When was the last time you talked to her?” Camryn asked.
“A week ago. She’s been working and going to school. She seems happy but I’m still not okay with her being there with him.”
“I feel you. You and Power should go and see her.”
“I’m going to talk to him about it. What do you think about Braille? I swear she reminds me of a young you.”
“I know right. I’m going to chat with her one on one and see what’s up with her.”
“Good. Gone on so we can go to lunch after this. I’m hungry.”
“Fine. Greedy ass.”
Next Sunday, we’re going to meet here again. In the meantime, write down the habits that you do and don’t practice. If you want to email them to me you can. Head over to the contact me section of my site. If you want to leave it as a comment you can.
See you next Sunday!