So, this is the first week of self-love Sunday! I guess you can say this is the foundation week. In total, there will be 15 self-love Sunday’s… including this one 🙂
As I thought over what I wanted to say for today my mind was taken back to a part of a book I wrote. Power and Elle: A Memphis Love Story.
We’ll get into that a little later.
The foundation of self-love is self-worth. You have to see yourself as valuable. As worthy of love and respect. Worthy of someone’s effort, time, and attention. When you see yourself as worthy you are able to place boundaries in your relationships to keep you from compromising and settling from less than you deserve.
When you aren’t aware of your worth, you become hungry and desperate for love. You settle for the crumbs off of someone’s table. You settle for being an option for a man that you’ve made a priority in your life. You settle for being the friend with benefits. The side chick. The one he calls for sex. You settle for his random calls and text messages with no sign of commitment.
You accept whatever they offer with no desire for better because you aren’t aware of just how much better you deserve! Or, you settle for what they offer, and begin to resent them because you know you deserve better, but you haven’t expressed that to them or yourself.
Elle’s mother told her that there is a price and a cost for everything. In relationships, the price is what you receive from someone. The cost is what you give to be with someone. The reason a lot of our relationships are imbalanced is because we are giving more than we’re getting or we’re getting more than we’re giving.
In order to correct this balance you have to have boundaries in your relationship. And boundaries come from self-worth.
Evaluate who you are. What you want. What you don’t want and will not tolerate. Be aware of all that you have to offer and what makes you valuable. Be aware of the Queen that you are.
When you know who you are and what you want within yourself, you can express this to your partner. With this in mind, they can pay the price to be with you and give you what you want and need… or they will not and you can let them go and tell them to kick rocks! Okay, well, maybe… don’t say that. But let them go! Avoid paying more in costs to be with them than you’re getting in return.
You are valuable.
You are worthy of love and respect.
Know this within yourself and soon you will attract people who know this within themselves and are able to treat you as the royalty that you are!
“With everything in life, there is a price and a cost. In your relationships, the price is what someone gives to be with you. The cost is what you give to be with that person. Sometimes, what people give you doesn’t always amount to what you give, and you end up imbalanced and in a negative state because you aren’t being replenished as you should. With Power, I don’t see that happening with you. I can see him giving just as much as you. He’s willing to cultivate you and make you better, baby. He wants to stimulate your mind and watch as the flowers grow. He didn’t allow the weeds and thorns and roots from other relationships to keep him from nurturing love within you. One of the greatest costs of love is vulnerability. You’re giving a person permission to hurt you, and a lot of people can’t handle that. They don’t want to risk being hurt. They don’t want to give anyone that power over them. Or, they don’t want to be looked at as weak, but if you don’t open yourself up and be vulnerable you won’t be able to truly experience this wonderful thing called love. I understand the fear of being hurt by Power, but I want you to honestly sit here and tell me that you think that man would do anything to hurt you intentionally. Is he worth the risk, baby? Does he give you more love than pain? Does he add more to your life than he takes?” – Dorothy – Power and Elle: A Memphis Love Story