Young Love in Memphis 2: Heart on Reserve is now available!!
Young Love in Memphis 2: Heart on Reserve is now available!!
So, this is the first week of self-love Sunday! I guess you can say this is the foundation week. In total, there will be 15 self-love Sunday’s… including this one 🙂
As I thought over what I wanted to say for today my mind was taken back to a part of a book I wrote. Power and Elle: A Memphis Love Story.
We’ll get into that a little later.
The foundation of self-love is self-worth. You have to see yourself as valuable. As worthy of love and respect. Worthy of someone’s effort, time, and attention. When you see yourself as worthy you are able to place boundaries in your relationships to keep you from compromising and settling from less than you deserve.
When you aren’t aware of your worth, you become hungry and desperate for love. You settle for the crumbs off of someone’s table. You settle for being an option for a man that you’ve made a priority in your life. You settle for being the friend with benefits. The side chick. The one he calls for sex. You settle for his random calls and text messages with no sign of commitment.
You accept whatever they offer with no desire for better because you aren’t aware of just how much better you deserve! Or, you settle for what they offer, and begin to resent them because you know you deserve better, but you haven’t expressed that to them or yourself.
Elle’s mother told her that there is a price and a cost for everything. In relationships, the price is what you receive from someone. The cost is what you give to be with someone. The reason a lot of our relationships are imbalanced is because we are giving more than we’re getting or we’re getting more than we’re giving.
In order to correct this balance you have to have boundaries in your relationship. And boundaries come from self-worth.
Evaluate who you are. What you want. What you don’t want and will not tolerate. Be aware of all that you have to offer and what makes you valuable. Be aware of the Queen that you are.
When you know who you are and what you want within yourself, you can express this to your partner. With this in mind, they can pay the price to be with you and give you what you want and need… or they will not and you can let them go and tell them to kick rocks! Okay, well, maybe… don’t say that. But let them go! Avoid paying more in costs to be with them than you’re getting in return.
You are valuable.
You are worthy of love and respect.
Know this within yourself and soon you will attract people who know this within themselves and are able to treat you as the royalty that you are!
“With everything in life, there is a price and a cost. In your relationships, the price is what someone gives to be with you. The cost is what you give to be with that person. Sometimes, what people give you doesn’t always amount to what you give, and you end up imbalanced and in a negative state because you aren’t being replenished as you should. With Power, I don’t see that happening with you. I can see him giving just as much as you. He’s willing to cultivate you and make you better, baby. He wants to stimulate your mind and watch as the flowers grow. He didn’t allow the weeds and thorns and roots from other relationships to keep him from nurturing love within you. One of the greatest costs of love is vulnerability. You’re giving a person permission to hurt you, and a lot of people can’t handle that. They don’t want to risk being hurt. They don’t want to give anyone that power over them. Or, they don’t want to be looked at as weak, but if you don’t open yourself up and be vulnerable you won’t be able to truly experience this wonderful thing called love. I understand the fear of being hurt by Power, but I want you to honestly sit here and tell me that you think that man would do anything to hurt you intentionally. Is he worth the risk, baby? Does he give you more love than pain? Does he add more to your life than he takes?” – Dorothy – Power and Elle: A Memphis Love Story
Young Love in Memphis: Heart on Reserve is live!!!
So… I woke up this morning and I had an idea. The idea – to blog about something most people wouldn’t know I struggle with personally. To blog about something that a lot of people struggle with, but are sometimes too embarrassed to admit.
Now… you may say well I know I’m cute.
I’m NOT insecure.
So… I love myself, right?
Well… there’s a lot that goes into loving self. It goes beyond finding yourself attractive physically. Although some people can’t even do that.
Do you value yourself? Do you respect yourself? Do you have boundaries in your relationships? Are you practicing self care? Do you have more good habits than bad? Are you selective of the energies you have around you?
Most importantly… are you practicing what I call the relational trinity in a healthy manner? Woah. That’s dope. I need to copyright that because I don’t want anyone to steal it before I blow up. Lol. The relational trinity™ (pahaha) is basically the act of loving God first. Then self. Then others.
Loving self has gotten such a bad rap. People think if you love yourself you’re selfish. Arrogant. But that’s not the case. Yes, there are some instances where shallow, jaded people use loving self as a means to justify their selfishness, but the true act of loving self is simply seeing yourself as God sees you. Valuing yourself as God values you. Caring for yourself as God would care for you.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with loving yourself.
How can you love others if you don’t love yourself?
The bible says that we are to love God first, and that the second greatest command is that we love our neighbor as we LOVE OURSELVES. How do we skip over that <—?
You can’t love your neighbor properly if you don’t love yourself properly.
A lot of our relationships with men and women are failing because we are loving them more than we love ourselves. We are putting them above ourselves and God.
I’m done with that!
That causes too much pain and disappointment. I’m about to get this thang right by getting the act of the relational trinity right.
Will you join me?
I will be blogging on a more consistent basis, but every Sunday it is my goal from this point forward to blog about self love.
If you want to take this journey of wholeness and bettering with me leave a comment so I can hold you accountable (
and myself because if you’re doing it I have no choice but to follow through 🙂 ) Leave a comment, contact me through my contact page, find me on social media @authorblove do something to make your decision visible.
This is going to be fun. This is going to be monumental. This is going to be dope!
Rule and Camryn 3: The Wedding is now available!