You cannot play the victim if you put yourself in the position to be victimized.
The first time I found out that he lied to me, I had every right to be hurt. To be angry. To be disappointed. To play the victim. At that point, I had two options –
- Stay and trust and take full responsibility for my heart.
- Leave and cut all ties and move on. Break my heart before I gave him further permission to.
I chose to stay.
So, when he lied the second time, I couldn’t play the victim. I put myself in the position to be hurt because I stayed; knowing he was capable of lying. I couldn’t blame him. I had to blame myself for choosing to stay.
Me staying led to me being paranoid and having trust issues. Nagging him and being a source of negative energy instead of peace. Creating a toxic cycle of me accusing and him refusing to give me love – which led to my disrespect. My disrespect led to less love, and less love led to more disrespect. And on and on. And on and on.
I wanted to play the victim and blame him for our demise, but the woman in me wouldn’t allow me to. I had to take responsibility for my choices because my choices made room for his actions. The only reason he was able to do what he did to me was because I allowed him to.
Yes, for his lying and cheating – he was wrong. But, because I allowed this to go on, I wasn’t right.
We have to hold ourselves accountable. We have to stop being little boys and girls who lie to get what we want. We have to stop being little boys and girls who want to be lied to because we’re afraid of the truth. Who blame everyone for what they’ve done to us without accepting the fact that the one to blame… is you.
It’s true, we can’t control what people do to us, but we can control how we respond to it, if we accept it, and if we allow it to continue on.
Instead of playing the victim, reclaim power over your heart, emotions, and life by holding yourself accountable for allowing people to do what they’ve done to you.
“Fool me once, shame on you… fool me twice, can’t put the blame on you.”
STOP giving people 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chances to show you that they don’t value you and appreciate you.
The only person that can truly take away your power and make you a victim is you.